Pedo RP

"For someone who's about to have sex with a pedo, you're kinda romantic about this."

- Park Manjoon teasing Deems.  The Pedo RP, also known as Manjoon's First RP, started on October 22, 2015 and lasted until the 27th. The post itself was not meant to be a RP, but rather a bio, thus proving that RPs can spring up at anytime, anyplace, anywhere.

Whether this roleplay is considered Canon or Crackland has been debated for generations—or at the very least for half a year. But Elisebeth says Crackland, both because the locations randomly change, and because Deems getting his dick sucked by a stranger is a rather bad way to first meet.

Synopsis
Part 1: Sexy Time

It all started with a comment by Deems about how he hoped the pedophile Im Joo Hyun—the man in the bio—would rot in prison for being popular with the ladies. Manjoon called him rude, which convinced Deems that the Korean supported pedophilia.

Manjoon plays along, saying that he ''"usually [likes] children, but [Deems is] an exception." Deems, unable to detect sarcasm and always up for being praised, goes along with it, saying he'll let Manjoon have sex with him, not because he'' wanted it, but because Manjoon was so desperate.

Typhon eventually bribes the two into leaving the courtroom, but never follows through because he suddenly disappears from the roleplay. Atakin quickly replaces him, bragging about himself and telling Deems he looks like a seven year-old. Deems takes this to heart and comes to the conclusion that Manjoon really is a pedophile and only likes him because he looks like a kid, which causes Manjoon to finally admit to Deems he was being sarcastic about the whole "pedo" thing.

Like Typhon, Atakin mysteriously disappears after this point, and thus, Manjoon's "strip show" begins. Not wanting to be outdone, Deems starts stripping too, only to have Manjoon cruelly tell him that he thought "watching [him] strip [would] be more of a turn-off." Refusing to back down, Deems starts stripping anyway, but his anger prevents him from doing it in a seductive manner like Manjoon is.

Once unclothed, Manjoon throws his boxers at Deems' face and orders him to "suck [his] dick." Deems would have none of it, and whines that someone who said they "wanted" him was being so rude. With Deems refusing to do his part, Manjoon starts doing the sucking instead, only to have Elisebeth abort the RP by making Deems faint.

Part 2: Meeting the Park Family

After a short break of OOC talk, the RP transitions into a less "sexy" atmosphere, with Chu Sung barging in on the two. Suddenly, the RP is no longer in court, but in Manjoon and Chu's bedroom which is another reason it's hard to make this canon. The brothers start talking in Korean with each other, while Deems tries to respond in Japanese with the only phrase he knows: "I love big boobs."

From the very start, Chu dislikes Deems, finding him childish. The fact that Deems purposefully parodies his speech problem doesn't help. It is at this point Deems learns that Manjoon has flings with tons of guys—even his own brother. He's disheartened by the realization that he wasn't anyone special to Manjoon, and he starts to realize that he wants love more than sex.

Feeling guilty, Manjoon offers to go on a date with him, offering that they could go in cosplay since Deems was uncomfortable about being seen with another guy. This never ends up happening, as they are interrupted by a disturbed bystander who had just finished reading the RP.

Switching subjects, Manjoon asks Deems if he'd like to meet his kids, the seven year-old Kay and nine year-old Tom. They leave for the living room, where Kay was busy putting pink bow and sparkly clips in an unhappy Chu Sung's hair. The kids question Deems for a bit, asking if he's Manjoon's new "boy toy," and a "one night stand." Deems is shocked, but later learns they aren't entirely familiar with what the terms mean. Still, he berates the brothers for even saying such words around them.

In later roleplays, he would become more and more attached to the children—especially Kay—making him like the idea of having his own—or even easier, to steal Kay away from them—even more.

Key Characters
Park Manjoon

Deems Mendel

Park Chu Sung

Minor Characters
Park Katie

Park Tom

Typhon Reptilius

Atakin Torney

Quotes
"...What just happened?"

- Everyone's reaction to the first half of the RP.

"..what is this comment section"

- Another disturbed individual after reading the RP.

"I ship it"

- One of our members on the whole debacle.

"LOSER. I hope he rots in prison, whether he committed the crime or not. That'll teach him to be popular with the ladies!"

- Deems on Im Joo Hyun.

"I usually like children, but you're an exception."

- Manjoon messing with Deems, thus starting their descent into dirty chaos.

"I'm sure my badge size isn't the only thing significantly bigger, Your Unhonorable."

- Typhon on...you know.

"If I had gold tears, I would hold them in so they were all mine!"

- Typhon being smart.

"Excuse you, I practically pioneered the term "hot" (also known to be spelled as "hoATT")."

- Att being Att.

"Well, yes, since I think watching you strip will be more of a turn-off."

- Manjoon on Deems' naked body, which contrasts heavily with his current opinion of the man.

"You're not really being nice for someone who's apparently "into" me, you creepy pedo."

- Deems on basically every person he's ever dated (minus the "pedo" remark).

"Yeah, whatever. Just suck my dick, will you? Yeesh, you're even more of a blushing virgin than my brother was."

- Things take a very dark turn into XXX territory that Elisebeth was not expecting.

"Sadly for Manjoon, the "blushing virgin act" simply went into overdrive once he started sucking Deems' "gavel." In fact, the judge was blushing so much that his brain overheats, making him fall unconscious. So much for sexy time."

- Elisebeth's escape plan for getting out of "sexy time," worried about the children who were on the post. "Ah for fuck's sake. I knew I shouldn't have taken one of those bi guys. Wimps."

- Manjoon on "bi guys."

"And I like "bleasts" because they're sexy, bouncy, and fun. Duh."

- Deems copying Chu's speech impediment for the first of many times.

"Excuse me, sir, but I am not bad at "English." I was merely copying your own horrible accent so you could better understand me. But I'm "sorry"—or should I say "solly"—that you didn't understand my good intentions."

- Deems' "good intentions" behind copying Chu's accent.

"Wait, so Mr. Pedo got Mr. Engrish to sleep with him?! But WHY?! Is sleeping with random men just your thing?"

- Deems learns the truth about Manjoon.

"For your information, I use condoms and sex toys all the time! ...But it just happens that I've only been able to use them while alone so far."

- Deems on condoms and sex toys.

"He doesn't hate you, per se. I mean, he has threatened to throw you off the building a few times, but that's not hate for him. He does the same to me on a regular basis!"

- Manjoon on Chu on Deems but not in a kinky way.

"Daddy, is he your new boy toy? Because he's not very pretty."

- Kay's first impression of Deems.

"But a one night stand means a sleepover friend, right? That's what Chu Sung told me. Did you play Mario Kart at your sleepover?"

- The innocence of youth.

"Boy toy, noun. A colloquial expression meaning a younger man who exchanges sexual favours with an older partner in exchange for money."

- Not the innocence of youth.

"And a massage? Trust me, I'm happy to, but your omniscient creator's probably going to protect your virginity again...not fun."

- Truth.  

Trivia

 * This RP is the first time Deems and the Park brothers ever interact.
 * Deems' inability to distinguish different Asian cultures was first touched on in this roleplay, where he mistakes Korean for Japanese.